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Engaged boy and girl can't be alone together!

Home/ Engaged boy and girl can't be alone together!
Engaged boy and girl can't be alone together!' width='806' height='440' src='https://hikmetkapisi.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/nisan-1-806x440.jpg'> </div> <h2 itemprop="name" class="post-title"> <span class="post-type"><i class="icon-picture"></i></span> Engaged boy and girl can't be alone together! </h2> <div class="post-meta"> <span class="meta-author" itemprop="author" rel="author"><i class="icon-user"></i> <a href="https://hikmetkapisi.com/en/author/nizameddin29/" rel="author">Nizamuddin Demir</a> </span> <span class="meta-date" datetime="15 May 2025"><i class="fa fa-calendar"></i>May 15, 2025</span> <span class="meta-categories"><i class="icon-suitcase"></i><a href="https://hikmetkapisi.com/en/category/islami-arastirmalar/fikih/" rel="category tag">Canon law</a></span> <span class="meta-comment"><i class="fa fa-comments"></i><a href="https://hikmetkapisi.com/en/nisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar/#respond" data-no-translation="" data-trp-gettext="">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="post-view"><i class="icon-eye-open"></i>10 views</span> </div> <div class="post-content" itemprop="mainContentOfPage"> <p>“Contracts and ceremonies made with the promise of a marriage request.</p> <p>The engagement ceremony is not considered a marriage. It requires a certain amount of time for the man and woman to get to know each other better, to complete the deficiencies, to overcome some obstacles such as education and military service, and to complete some official formalities. In other words, it is often not possible to make a marriage contract immediately after the engagement. Here is the period between the engagement and the marriage. <strong> “engagement or engagement”</strong> It is called. In Arabic <strong> “sermon”</strong> This institution, expressed with the word, means asking for the girl's hand in marriage, making a promise, consummating a promise and getting engaged in the dictionary.</p> <p><strong> In Islam, spouses who will live together for the rest of their lives must take the necessary precautions and think carefully before deciding to get married, and for this reason, it has become customary for those who are going to get married to meet. However, it is not permissible for engaged couples to meet, talk, go out together or chat together before marriage, as it is haram for them to meet each other.</strong></p> <p>It is possible and permissible for the spouses to see each other beforehand. The places to look are the hands, face and feet. Mughira (ra) wanted to marry a woman, the Prophet (pbuh) said to him: <strong> "Look at that woman, because looking is more suitable for your star to reconcile" </strong> (Tirmidhi, Nikah, 5) Again, the Messenger of Allah said to a companion who wanted to marry one of the Ansar women;<strong> “Go and look at her, for there may be some defects in the eyes of the Ansar women.” </strong> (Muslim, Masai)</p> <p>The religion of Islam has brought some regulatory provisions regarding the stage of in-laws. Therefore, if a woman has given a positive response to the in-laws, if the engagement has been made and the engagement has been made, no other man can send another in-law to this woman. The Prophet (pbuh) said the following on this matter: <strong> “None of you should send a marriage partner to his brother in faith until the one who sent him a marriage partner either gives up on it first or gives him permission.”</strong> (Bukhari, Nikah, 45). If the woman rejects the proposal, then a second request is permissible. If the first proposer allows the second, then the second proposal is free.</p> <p>Islamic law does not oblige engaged couples to marry. However, breaking off an engagement without a legitimate reason is considered makruh or haram. In the event of breaking off an engagement, if a dowry has been given before, it must be returned. As for the gifts that engaged couples give to each other… The provisions for returning a gift apply in this regard, and if they are available, they are returned as is. If they have been used and are no longer available, nothing is required.</p> <p><strong> According to the Shafiis</strong>If the gifts are still available, they will be returned as is, if they have been used or destroyed, they will be returned for their full price.</p> <p><strong> According to the Malikis,</strong>"Since engagement and marriage are areas where customs and traditions play a major role, the customs of that place are followed regarding gifts. If there is no customary rule and the man breaks off the engagement, the woman is not obliged to return the gifts given."    <strong> (Şamil Islamic Encyclopedia, Vol. 6. P:241-242.)</strong></p> <p>“The importance that Islamic law gives to pre-marriage stems from the fact that it aims to build marriage on solid foundations and principles. Only in such a MARRIAGE will the expected goodness be realized. These goodnesses are the continuation and permanence of the marriage, the happiness of the family, stability, preventing family disintegration, protecting this sacred bond from quarrels and conflicts.</p> <p>Only in this way can children grow up in love and peace, and spouses find peace and comfort in each other. The following is stated in the Surah Ar-Rum:  <strong>“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves for you to warm up to, and that love and mercy have been established between you. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect…” (Ar-Rum:21)</strong></p> <p><strong> DEFINITION OF HOLY MESSAGE (ORDER):</strong> We say that engagement is not marriage but only a promise of marriage, in short… This promise, that is, the promise of marriage, is not a contract and does not remove the privacy between a man and a woman. In the religious context, the only thing that removes privacy is the MARRIAGE contract - the marriage being performed. <strong> APRIL:</strong> It means declaring your desire to marry a designated woman and informing this to the woman or her family. <strong> The name of the engagement in Fiqh is - HITBE…</strong></p> <p>This notification can be made directly by the person who wants to get married, or by the family of this person. If the girl-woman or her family accepts, they become engaged.</p> <p>Engagement, like other acts done before marriage, allows people who want to get married to get to know each other. It gives both parties the opportunity to examine their morality, temperament and tendencies. Of course, these actions are done within the framework of Islamic measures. If mutual understanding and harmony are felt and both parties are convinced that they can live with each other in trust, peace, happiness and love, the first step towards marriage is taken.</p> <p>It can be done by someone who wants to get married and expressing their desire openly by saying "I want to marry so and so", or by talking to the person who wants to get married in a veiled and implied way. Saying things like "I will marry you", "the lucky one will be happy with you" or "I am looking for a suitable girl like you" to the girl or woman are examples of these implied words.</p> <p><strong> April;</strong> It is not a marriage, but merely a promise of marriage. Marriage, as it is known, is not realized and completed until the Nikah is performed. And in this case, the parties continue to be forbidden to each other. <strong> It has been said that it is not permissible for a man to look at his fiancee's body parts other than her hands and face.</strong></p> <p>It is haram to propose to a woman who is known to be someone else's FIANCEE (WHEN THE FIRST ONE MAKES A MISTAKE ON HER). If the girl's family has agreed to the ENGAGEMENT and accepted it, and the first fiancé has not broken off the engagement, then the second engagement that is made or will be made is haram. <strong> Islamic scholars have reached a unanimous consensus on this matter.</strong></p> <p>Our Prophet (pbuh) says in a hadith: <strong> “None of you should propose to a woman to whom his Muslim brother has proposed marriage.” (This narration comes from Abu Hurayrah (ra) and is recorded in Muwatta.)</strong></p> <p>Again, in a Hadith from Abdullah bin Omar (ra): <strong> “None of you would want the woman his Muslim brother proposes to…” </strong> It is commanded.</p> <p>In the explanation of this hadith, it is said in Muwatta as follows: “A man proposes to a woman, she is inclined towards him, they agree on a certain DOOM and give mutual consent, the woman now ties herself to him, at that time our Prophet (pbuh) forbade another man to propose to this woman…</p> <p>Islamic etiquette requires waiting until a period of thinking, discussing and consulting is reached. This patient attitude preserves the bonds of love and friendship between people and does not allow the seeds of hatred and hostility to be planted.</p> <p>According to a narration; after Fatima bint Kays divorced her husband Abu Amr bin Hafs bin al-Mughira and the waiting period was completed, three people asked for her hand in marriage. These were Muawiyah, Abu Jahm bin Huzafah and Usama bin Zayd. Fatima went to our Prophet (pbuh) and informed him about this situation. The Prophet (pbuh) said: <strong> "Abu Jahm will not lower his stick from his shoulder. Muawiyah has no wealth. Marry Osama bin Zayd..."</strong> According to this Hadith, many people may want a woman or girl before making their decision. However, the most important thing here is to strictly follow Islamic etiquette.</p> <p><strong> Characteristics that a girl who will be engaged should have</strong> Let's stop for a moment on the subject. Islam is based on choosing a good spouse for a long-lasting marriage. The family home must be built on a solid foundation that will provide peace, harmony, happiness and mutual trust. At the forefront of these foundations are RELIGION and MORALS.</p> <p>It has been said that; Religiosity increases with age. Morality matures with time and experience. However, the things that most people pursue, such as wealth, beauty and lineage, are temporary and do not ensure the continuation of the MARRIAGE bond. Moreover, these characteristics bring with them arrogance, boasting and attracting attention.</p> <p>This is why our Prophet said in a Hadith: <strong> “A woman is MARRIED for four things; her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religion; choose the RELIGIOUS one so that your hand will be blessed.”</strong> He said. Because men generally keep these four issues on their agenda when they get married. The issues that were valid fourteen hundred years ago are still valid today…” <strong> (Vehbe Zuhayli, Encyclopedia of Islamic Jurisprudence, Vol. 9. P:11-14. Risale Publishing House, 1991.)</strong></p> <p>"April; <strong> is the first step of marriage. Even if there is an announcement, the prohibitions between the spouses continue until the marriage is performed. Even if one is engaged, since the marriage has not been performed, it is not permissible to be alone without a third party. </strong> If a third party is present, they can only communicate with each other as much as necessary.</p> <p>As for listening to a non-mahram woman's voice, if there is fear of discord or <strong> If one enjoys the sound, it is not permissible to listen to the sound.</strong></p> <p>Texting with her fiancé on the phone, talking on the phone and chatting on the internet are also like this; if she talks about obscene topics with her fiancé or enjoys her voice or corresponds in this way, it is certainly not permissible. Because she is her fiancé, a stranger, the marriage contract has not been fulfilled yet. However, just as it is permissible to talk to a foreign woman as much as needed, it is also permissible with her fiancé.”</p> <p><strong> (Ianetu Talibin, 3/260; Yusuf al-Qaradawi; Fatwas 1/469; </strong></p> <p><strong> (El Fiqhul Islami Ve Edilletuhu, Vol. 7, pp. 24-25)</strong></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div class="clearfix"></div> </div><!-- End post-inner --> </article><!-- End article.post --> <div class="activate-post-stats page-visits-post" data-id="2984"></div> <div class="share-tags page-content"> <div class="share-inside-warp"> <ul> <li> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F" target="_blank"> <span class="icon_i"> <span class="icon_square" icon_size="20" span_bg="#3b5997" span_hover="#666"> <i i_color="#FFF" class="social_icon-facebook"></i> </span> </span> </a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F" target="_blank" data-no-translation="" data-trp-gettext="">Facebook</a> </li> <li> <a href="http://twitter.com/share?text=%3Ctrp-post-container+data-trp-post-id%3D%272984%27%3ENi%C5%9Fanl%C4%B1+erkek+ve+k%C4%B1z+ba%C5%9F+ba%C5%9Fa+kalamazlar%21%3C%2Ftrp-post-container%3E&url=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F" target="_blank"> <span class="icon_i"> <span class="icon_square" icon_size="20" span_bg="#00baf0" span_hover="#666"> <i i_color="#FFF" class="social_icon-twitter"></i> </span> </span> </a> <a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/share?text=%3Ctrp-post-container+data-trp-post-id%3D%272984%27%3ENi%C5%9Fanl%C4%B1+erkek+ve+k%C4%B1z+ba%C5%9F+ba%C5%9Fa+kalamazlar%21%3C%2Ftrp-post-container%3E&url=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F" data-no-translation="" data-trp-gettext="">Twitter</a> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F&name=%3Ctrp-post-container+data-trp-post-id%3D%272984%27%3ENi%C5%9Fanl%C4%B1+erkek+ve+k%C4%B1z+ba%C5%9F+ba%C5%9Fa+kalamazlar%21%3C%2Ftrp-post-container%3E" target="_blank"> <span class="icon_i"> <span class="icon_square" icon_size="20" span_bg="#44546b" span_hover="#666"> <i i_color="#FFF" class="social_icon-tumblr"></i> </span> </span> </a> <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F&name=%3Ctrp-post-container+data-trp-post-id%3D%272984%27%3ENi%C5%9Fanl%C4%B1+erkek+ve+k%C4%B1z+ba%C5%9F+ba%C5%9Fa+kalamazlar%21%3C%2Ftrp-post-container%3E" target="_blank" data-no-translation="" data-trp-gettext="">Tumblr</a> </li> <li> <a target="_blank" href="https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F&media=https://hikmetkapisi.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/nisan-1.jpg&description=Nişanlı erkek ve kız baş başa kalamazlar!"> <span class="icon_i"> <span class="icon_square" icon_size="20" span_bg="#c7151a" span_hover="#666"> <i i_color="#FFF" class="icon-pinterest"></i> </span> </span> </a> <a target="_blank" href="https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F&media=https://hikmetkapisi.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/nisan-1.jpg&description=Nişanlı erkek ve kız baş başa kalamazlar!" data-no-translation="" data-trp-gettext="">Pinterest</a> </li> <li> <a target="_blank" href="https://api.whatsapp.com/send?text=%3Ctrp-post-container+data-trp-post-id%3D%272984%27%3ENi%C5%9Fanl%C4%B1+erkek+ve+k%C4%B1z+ba%C5%9F+ba%C5%9Fa+kalamazlar%21%3C%2Ftrp-post-container%3E - https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F"> <span class="icon_i"> <span class="icon_square" icon_size="20" span_bg="#25D366" span_hover="#666"> <i i_color="#FFF" class="fa-brands fa-whatsapp"></i> </span> </span> </a> <a href="https://api.whatsapp.com/send?text=%3Ctrp-post-container+data-trp-post-id%3D%272984%27%3ENi%C5%9Fanl%C4%B1+erkek+ve+k%C4%B1z+ba%C5%9F+ba%C5%9Fa+kalamazlar%21%3C%2Ftrp-post-container%3E - https%3A%2F%2Fhikmetkapisi.com%2Fen%2Fnisanli-erkek-ve-kiz-bas-basa-kalamazlar%2F" target="_blank" data-no-translation="" data-trp-gettext="">WhatsApp</a> </li> <li> <a target="_blank" onclick="popup = window.open( Email
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    Our website was established to provide scientific and satisfying answers to all kinds of questions you are curious about and need answers to regarding Islamic issues, based on reliable sources. Our aim is to bring you the authentic information of our religion in a correct, understandable and fast way, according to the Hanafi School; to be a solid guide for you in your research and learning journey.

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