I don't forgive my father, is that true?
Question
As-Salamu alaykum, my teacher… I do not forgive my father. Is it right from an Islamic perspective?
Let me explain it this way, I don't think my father was a father to me. He only met my needs by giving me money, other than that I never felt his love. I never told him this when he was alive. Now that he is no longer alive I said I don't forgive him, I wonder if I am doing the right thing from an Islamic perspective, what should I say, am I doing wrong?
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Answer ( 1 )
And peace be upon you, may Allah bless you and grant you peace… My dear brother,
You ask, “I do not forgive my father, is that true?” We will answer assuming that you are right. Parental rights can never be paid. If you have rights over your father, it would be better for you to forgive him. Because your father has more rights over you. Also, reconciliations regarding rights in the afterlife will be very difficult. Therefore, if you have any in this world, do not leave it for the afterlife, but forgive him. No father knowingly does wrong for his child. He does not guide his child in the wrong direction. If he did not show too much smile, if he had an authoritarian attitude, it is for your own good. But he may have been wrong, he may have been wrong. It is a sin not to exaggerate these and not forgive him. If despite all this, you say that I have rights and I do not forgive him, there will be a reckoning on the day of judgement until the camel passes through the eye of a needle. Everyone will get their rights. If you have them, you get your rights. But as we said, if you do not resort to this, I say it will be better for you. May Allah swt be with you…